Nonono.

"Odi et amo quare id faciam fortasse requiris / Nescio sed fieri sentio et excrucior."

It's a poem by the Roman poet Catullus. Translation into english is: "I hate and I love. Why would I do this, perhaps you ask?


I do not know. But I feel it happening and then I am tortured." My 'husband' had it as his headline on my space. It's kind of ironic to me that it would be on his profile, when that poem describes with every syllable exactly how I feel toward him. It eats me up inside. It haunts me. It ruins so many things in my every day life, my relationships, friendships. I've allowed so many things to fall apart because of the pain Jeremy put me through. I don't think it's fair to the people impacted, much less me - but I'm sure I'm just paying for some bad thing I did, karma's catching up to me like it always does. I'm tired of missing a man who treated me like dirt and being a bitch to a man who tries to make me happy and show me how much he cares about me. Two things my bastard spouse never even attempted throughout our entire marriage. And yet, here we are. I'm thinking of him, wishing I could talk to him. Is there not something seriously fucking wrong with this picture?

therapy plz.